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The fountains at Boca Ciega Bay in the News
By Richard Martin, Times Staff Writer
Divorce a spouse with Alzheimer's? You learn to let go, but you never leave, these four say.
Francine Shebell says her husband, Peter, used to tell her to divorce him.
He knew that Alzheimer's disease was starting to rob him of his memory. "And he knew enough to realize that it was a lot for me to go through," said Shebell, 68.
But she hasn't left him. "He is my soul mate," she says.
The issue of divorcing a spouse with Alzheimer's attracted national attention recently when religious broadcaster Pat Robertson told a listener that doing so is okay because the disease is "a kind of death."
But Robertson hasn't been in Shebell's shoes, or Sandra Lachs', Bob Youngblood's or Susan Smith's.
All four Tampa Bay area residents care for or have cared for a spouse with Alzheimer's disease. Each said they never considered divorcing during the course of the disease.
"I said shame on him," Lachs said of the 700 Club founder's comments.
At the same time, each has done something that Alzheimer's experts say is an important way to help offset the enormous stress involved with being a 24-7 caregiver.
They moved on.
They took classes, did volunteer work, found time to exercise and started to socialize again.
And at some point in the illness, they made the difficult decision to move their loved ones out of their homes to be cared for in assisted living or a nursing home.
"Someone told me my life was over," said Smith, when she learned in 2001 that her husband, Kenneth Albritton, had the disease. "But you can't think that way. You still exist."
. . .
Every day, Bob Youngblood visits a woman who no longer knows he is her husband.
"She recognizes me, but she's not sure who I am," says Youngblood, 67. "She doesn't have a concept of what a husband is."
Yet without fail, he makes the daily 22-mile drive from his Pasco County home to a nursing facility in Brooksville, where he feeds her lunch as she sits in a wheelchair.
Susan Youngblood was 58 when she retired in 2004 as a director for Coca-Cola in Atlanta. Two years later, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Now 65, she no longer speaks in sentences, just words and occasional phrases. If she is in pain, she communicates with facial expressions.
"Susan's world is now very, very small," Youngblood said.
After caring for her at home for the past five years, Youngblood said it became clear in April that he could no longer give her the care she needed. She couldn't dress herself or go to the bathroom on her own.
In June, he moved her to Heron Pointe Health and Rehabilitation, a nursing home in Brooksville.
Youngblood has slowly begun to move on with his life. He plays tennis regularly and takes care of the courts near his home. He volunteers with his neighborhood association and has begun to socialize more at the neighborhood clubhouse.
It's a balance that he says fulfills his responsibilities to his wife, but also himself.
He bristled at Robertson's suggestion that it's okay to divorce a spouse with Alzheimer's and start over, as long as you make sure the person is cared for.
It's not the divorce part that bothers him. "You can get a divorce. People have gotten divorces," Youngblood said. "But (Robertson) implied that you need to start over. That means you're cutting the umbilical cord to that person."
That's something Youngblood, an Air Force veteran, says he would never do.
"Military guys fly missions, make sacrifices. My role is to finish what I started," he said, fighting back tears. "That was the deal. And the other thing is, Susan wouldn't have done that to me."
. . .
Francine Shebell knows she did the right thing when she moved her husband, Peter, 80, into an assisted living facility three months ago.
But she says her decision was second-guessed by friends, and even her husband's grown children.
"Friends would say, 'How can you do this?' and 'It's not the right time,' " Shebell said.
Families often view such a move as a last resort. But the way she saw it, moving him into assisted living when she did gave him the time to adjust before the worst parts of the memory-robbing disease set in.
Over the summer, Shebell found a place for her husband at the Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay before she left on a 10-day trip to Israel to attend her grandson's bar mitzvah.
When she returned, she said she was prepared to take him back to their downtown St. Petersburg condominium if he wanted. But when she saw him at the assisted living facility, she saw a man who was engaged in a way she hadn't seen in years.
"He was happy there," she said. "He had friends. He even had a girlfriend."
Shebell visits her husband - a former law firm senior partner and municipal court judge in New Jersey - several times a week. She has even taken him and his "girlfriend," Judy - another Alzheimer's patient - on outings, including to a Tampa Bay Rays game.
"He shows her affection, holds her hand," Shebell said.
Shebell, meanwhile, makes time for walks with a group of friends, and goes to the gym every day. Her health, which suffered during her years as a caregiver, has started to improve.
But Shebell is still adjusting to life without seeing her husband every day. "I still have his clothes in my closet," she said, wiping away tears. "I'm not over it.
"But when you love someone that much you want them to have something good," she said. "He has dignity. That's the best thing I ever did for him."
. . .
Susan Smith admits that she almost divorced her husband before he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. The two weren't communicating well, and she didn't understand why.
But then he started having difficulty doing his job as a chemist with the Tampa sewer department and was placed on leave. She also noticed that his math skills had deteriorated and that he was having trouble fitting pipes together in the yard.
Kenneth Albritton was 49 when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2001. Smith was 47. They had been married for 26 years.
Once she had the clarity of a diagnosis, she knew then she wouldn't leave him.
"I determined I would take care of him."
During the course of her husband's battle, Smith left her career as a systems engineer with Verizon and cared for him full time at their Temple Terrace home. But she also made time to plan for a new career. She took a class in professional organizing. Later, she took classes to be a certified nursing assistant and began plans to convert the couple's home to an assisted living facility.
She describes her husband's struggle with Alzheimer's as "seven good years and six difficult months."
During the good years, she took him on vacations and other outings.
But in his final months, as the disease worsened quickly, she moved him to an assisted living facility, then a hospital and then hospice. He died on Aug. 7, 2008.
She says she never thought about divorcing him, but if those six difficult months had stretched into years she's not sure what she would have done.
"You really don't know," she says.
After her husband's death, Smith opened her assisted living facility, but months later decided the venture wasn't for her. She went back to school. She went out and met people, including a man she married a year later.
"Things are going well."
. . .
Sandy Lachs cared for her husband, Gerard, at home for five years after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 2001.
But then came his frequent falls. Lachs, 5 feet tall, could not prop her 6-foot-1 husband back up.
"I had to run around the neighborhood looking for people to help," she says. "It was just impossible."
For his safety, she moved him to a nearby assisted living facility. And Lachs prepared to live her life without him.
She sold the couple's home in Temple Terrace and moved into smaller quarters. "I didn't want to be there by myself," she said.
Lachs thought she would be scared and lonely. "But I was very comfortable living by myself. I felt kind of guilty about that."
Looking back, Lachs admits she was resentful at times when she had to decline invitations from friends to go out when she cared for her husband at home.
"I would feel sorry for myself," she said. "It got to a point where I had no life."
She became a remote caregiver, visiting her husband - a retired engineering professor at the University of South Florida - three times a week, and continuing to track his medications.
But Lachs also rediscovered some of the things she gave up to care for him.
She volunteered with a group called SCORE, helping people interested in starting businesses. She joined social groups to make friends. "I found people who were divorced, widowed and in similar situations to me," she said. "It was very helpful."
Gerard remained in assisted living for five years and died in February.
She was appalled when Robertson described Alzheimer's as "a kind of death."
"Gerry was never dead to me," she said. "Two weeks before he died, I said 'I love you' and he said he loved me."
From watercolors and oils on canvas, to carved wooden creatures, conch shells and cross stitch, nearly ever artistic medium was represented. Judges awarded best of show ribbons to ‘Fall in Virginia’ by Jean Colby, ‘Lilacs’ by Barbara Alderman, ‘Amsterdam’ by Johanna Peters, ‘Bust of Wellington’ and ‘Scenes in a Conch’ by Nina Whittlesey. These pieces have been submitted for consideration to Expressions 2012, the national-award-winning calendar published every fall by Watermark Retirement Communities. The calendar celebrates active aging and the arts by showcasing works produced by Watermark residents nationwide.
While competition for space in the calendar is high, a “young at art” category ensures that it’s never too late to take up art and be recognized. This year’s chronologically youngest artist represented was Shyanne Shirley, a nine-year old student from Bear Creek Elementary School. Shyanne’s work was exhibited because she was recently awarded eight art lessons by Watermark for Kids, a non-profit organization whose mission is to help underserved children thrive.
“From the youngest to the oldest, we have proven once again that art is ageless in our thriving community,” said Marguerite Hubbs, community life director for The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay.
Photo from left to right Lorainne Gagnon, Steve Hacks, Johanna Peters, Phyllis Sullivan, Nina Whittlesey, Anne Millett, Miriam Judd, Marguerite Hubbs, John Hoisington, Diane Gruber, Jean Colby, Anna Glenn and Barbara Alderman.
At The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay, 1255 Pasadena Avenue South, couples whose marriages ranged from 18 to 70 years talked about their own love stories.
Married 66 years, George and Connie Fournier met at a 10c Record Hop in Bedford, Massachusetts. Their secret to an enduring marriage: “You have to give and take, have similar interests and importantly show lots of love.”
A mutual love of dancing has kept Thelma and Archie Neeley close for 29 years of marriage. The former Radio City Rockette (1940-42) met Archie dancing at Gulfport Casino. The Neeley’s secret to lasting love is “Have patience and a whole lot of fun.” Jim and Ann Millett, married in 1992 after much persistence on Jim’s part. On their first date, they went to Fast Eddy’s for dinner then to the beach to watch crazy golf, then onto Largo Cultural Center to see Driving Miss Daisy. Eighteen years later, Ann describes Jim as “lovable.” Jim calls Ann “the sweetest girl around. “ Their tip for lasting love is “Be tolerant and love each other each day.”
Lenny and Benny LeBeau met at church in Indiana, where Lenny went to Watchmakers college. He’s still fixing watches 69 years later. Benny stayed busy raising their seven children including twin girls. Their advice, based on 69 years of marriage is, “Don’t argue too much, never go to bed angry and learn to compromise. Things are never going to be perfect.”
John and Edith Atkinson were married in March 1940, having met at Blackpool Pleasure beach in Lancashire, England. “It was love at first sight,” they said. Even today, they are always hand in hand. Their secret to lasting love is to love, trust and have a sense of humor. “Laugh your way through life,” recommends Edith. “Your partner is your best friend when all is said and done.”
Santa Drops in Ahead of Schedule at The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay
December 15, 2010, St. Petersburg, Fla. – A recent visit by ol’ St. Nick and children from Our Savior Lutheran School to The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay proved that the spirit of Christmas knows no age limits.
Friday, December 10th began with a scheduled Christmas Breakfast, a tradition at the retirement community at which managers serve residents scrambled eggs, sausage, crispy bacon, biscuits, pancakes with hot maple syrup, coffee and orange juice.
After breakfast, pre-schoolers to 1st graders from Our Savior Lutheran School sang Christmas songs. Staff and residents shared smiles and tears of joy at such a sight.
At the end of the show, the sound of sleigh bells broke through the applause and Santa himself made his spectacular appearance to squeals of delight. The man in red listened to everyone’s wish list, though for many, the wish to experience the spirit of Christmas had already come true.
Photo 1, left to right:
Left. Associate Executive Director Suzanne Burtzlaff, Care Manager Will Goodnow and resident Arline Gon.
Photo 2, left to right: Will Goodnow with resident Diane Gruber.
Four-year olds from Our Savior Lutheran School Children’s Choir take turns with the man in red, while community life directors Marguerite Hubbs and Nicole Bacher, salute a perfect morning.
For a $5 donation, residents and guests will be invited to sample and cast their votes for three chili recipes prepared by competing chefs from The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay. 100% of proceeds benefit Elves for Elders.
A pig kissing contest at 3:30pm will raise additional funds – and fun – when the highest “sponsored” party is rewarded with a smooch from real live pig. Employees usually like to pool their funds and see whose boss wins this distinguished honor.
There will also be dancing to the Crabgrass Cowboys, rope tricks by Buster T Bone, and an appearance by Nani and Rennie (her horse).
This event is sponsored by The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay and Better Living for Seniors. Country costumes are encouraged. The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay is located at 1255 Pasadena Avenue South. Bring a camera and your family for a fun-filled afternoon. For more information, call 727-381-5411.
St. Petersburg High School Varsity Football players and cheerleaders pose with former players and cheerleaders at The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay during today’s pre-game tailgating event with an intergenerational twist.
St. Petersburg, Fla. (September 9, 2010) – Earlier today, members of the varsity football team and cheerleaders from St. Petersburg High School joined their many fans at The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay for a Season Kick-Off Tail Gate “Cooking with the Chefs” event. All present enjoyed tasting the latest greatest tailgate foods prepared by Fountains chefs in the festively dressed auditorium of The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay, 1255 Pasadena Avenue South.
Next week at The Fountains: Salsa dancing lessons, ten-pin bowling and grooving to drums from the Caribbean, all in celebration of National Assisted Living Week. For more information, contact Marguerite Hubbs at 727-381-5411.
Mike Camunas
Published: August 16, 2010
PLANT CITY - Ollie Cunningham doesn't need a history book to recall such events as the first man on the moon or even World War I. She lived through it.
The Plant City native who was born when William Howard Taft was in the White House celebrated her 101st birthday July 31 at the St. Petersburg retirement community where she now lives.
"I really don't feel like 101. I feel more like 200," joked Cunningham, who proved a century of life hasn't worn out her sense of humor.
Staff members at The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay threw an extravagant party that included a champagne toast and music by a harpist.
Dozens of friends and relatives were on hand to honor her on her special day.
Cunningham said she enjoys life despite some ailments.
"I feel like I've been here a long time and I enjoy living, and I have some health problems, so sometimes days are good, and sometimes they're
OK," she said.
Cunningham said she enjoyed the party "because the harpist played beautifully, and the cake was delicious, and I loved the roses I got. It was nice seeing all the friends and family I have."
She has six grandchildren, 11 great-grandchildren and seven greatgreat- grandchildren. Her husband, Edwin Jackson, died 42 years ago. She was a homemaker and lived in Plant City until 2002.
Throughout her life, she enjoyed cooking, gardening and reading, but now her days are mostly about watching TV and keeping up with current events.
"I have poor sight, so I can't really read that much anymore, and I miss that a lot," Cunningham said, "but I'll have a nap and then watch TV, and then it's time for dinner."
She likes talking about the old days.
"I can remember some of the things from when I was child and remember neighbors farming with an oxen, but it's all different now. I'm not sure if it's better now than then, but I'm still here."
She recalls many memorable events in the past century, including watching her family grow by the decade.
"All great parts of life that I'll never forget," she added.
Cunningham laughed off the notion that she might live long enough for a spot in the Guinness World Record book as oldest human alive.
However, she fully expects to make it to 102 and beyond, going at it at her own pace as each day changes.
"I take it, always, one day at a time," she said. "The Lord made me a promise, and I doubt, nor really want, those records. I'm not sure when it's going to come, but I'm not planning on [the end]. I enjoy my life and living and being here. So here I am."
A good moral compass and honest living are gifts that keep on giving
St. Petersburg, Fla. – A new tie or a new rake may top the list of gifts many kids will give their fathers on June 20th. However, experienced fathers at one St. Petersburg retirement community are shifting the focus of the holiday to what lasting gifts fathers can pass on to future generations.
Associates of The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay, 1255 Pasadena Avenue South, recently sat down with seven Dads in residence there to ask their opinions about fatherhood.
Reflecting on their own roles as fathers, nearly all of the Fountains’ Dads interviewed independently said that fathers should be good role models, give their children a good moral compass, and be good providers for their family.
Other imperatives of fatherhood, the fathers said, include: put your wife and children first, be honest, be faithful, and have faith that you can raise your children well.
In a culture complicated by so many competing interests, it’s refreshing when such simple truths spoken by elders can break through the clutter.
The fathers interviewed at The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay raised their families a half century ago. They’ve witnessed the maturation of their children and their children’s children. Such perspective lends both clarity and credibility to their advice.
By speaking out, these members of an experienced generation are offering young fathers today a most valuable gift. See the pages that follow for more words of wisdom that Dads of The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay wish to share this Father’s Day.
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William Trumpler
Bill Trumpler was born in East Orange, NJ and later lived in Switzerland. His family later came back to the United States to Pennsylvania for his father’s work. Bill’s parents taught him music, and he learned to play the flute quite well. Bill worked as an engineer building many different types of boats, both big and small. He married in 1940 and had three children. Bill’s advice to a young man who wishes to start a family would be to by all means start a family, but to make sure that you have the proper moral principles. Be an appropriate husband and have a wife who is good with children. |
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Fred Rozelle
Fred was born in Lake City, FL. His father Eddy was in the restaurant business and owned a restaurant called Eddy’s Place in Lake City. He went to the University of Florida on a football scholarship where he played as a defensive linebacker for the Gators. He later became a High School Teacher and Principal for St. Petersburg and Seminole High Schools in St. Petersburg, FL. Fred married and had three children – 2 boys and one girl. Fred’s advice to a young man wishing to start a family would be to “make sure to have a steady income, a happy job, and that he is really in love with the girl”. |
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John Farrell
John was born and raised in Hornell, NY. He always enjoyed building models and driving trucks. He worked for many years as a truck driver for 24-footers, driving auto parts and piping all over Florida State. John’s father worked for the Government as a Federal housing contractor. John’s advice to a young man who wants to start a family is to always be honest and faithful to your wife, teach your children to honor thy father and mother, and to enjoy your children at every age. |
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Ron E. Young
Ron was born in Brooklyn, NY, where he lived until the age of seventeen. He then toured the country as a minor league baseball player with the NY Giants for three years. After that, Ron went into the Army for about a year and a half. He then attended Syracuse University in NY and graduated with dual degrees in Psychology and Advertising. He played Baseball while attending College. Ron was an FBI Special Agent for 29 years. In 1954, he married a girl who worked for the Bureau. He and his wife had two children - both girls. Ron’s advice to a young man wishing to start a family is to simply, “be good to your wife.” The rest, he says, will follow. |
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Anatoly Naroditsky
Anatoly’s advice to a young man wanting to start a family is to have a good education and not to depend on anyone but yourself. You don’t have to be a plastic surgeon, but make sure to have a good, reliable job. He says there is no such thing as a free lunch - anything you want to gain in this world, you must do yourself. He says that one should “teach children to respect their parents.” |
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William Horyn
Bill’s advice for a young man wanting to start a family would be to have fun with his children, and most importantly – learn to play with them. He says it is important to have faith that you can do it right, and not to try and be too smart. |
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Herbert McPherson Herbert’s advice to any young man starting a family would be to make sure to have a steady job and stay out of trouble. Herbert says that the wife and kids always come first. Always set a good example for the children. “Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you”. |
30 courses will be included in the summer course catalogue. All are designed with interesting topics and activities to keep minds and bodies fit. Examples include: Learn to Fish - Tackles and Techniques, taught by John Hubbs; Socrates Café, an intellectual discussion group led by Johnny Hylen; Line Dancing, taught by Radio City Rockette Thelma Neely who has been teaching for 62 years; Transcendental Meditation, taught by Maryo Hummel, who attended the last course given to Westerners by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (1917-2008); and Beginners Photography, taught by professional photographer Katie Knipp.
Students of Watermark University can also sign up to learn Spanish, painting, floral design, card games, growing orchids, and much more.
Most Watermark University courses are free and open to interested seniors from the surrounding area. Faculty includes instructors from outside The Fountains, as well as Fountains residents and associates who are eager to share their passionate hobbies. Courses begin June 1. RSVP for registration or inquire by calling The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay at 727-381-5411.
St. Petersburg, Fla. - Last month, 31 residents and guests signed up for an ‘Enchanted Evening’ in the Key West Dining Room at The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay, 1255 Pasadena Avenue South. Nobody left disappointed. Put on monthly by The Fountains’ culinary staff, Enchanted Evenings represent an elegant dining experience that rivals that of Tampa Bay’s finest restaurants.
Enchanted Evening diners are forewarned to bring their appetites. On this particular Wednesday evening, the four-course menu featured Lobster Stuffed Mushrooms; Caesar Salad; Beef Tenderloin with Bearnaise Sauce, Hash Brown Potatoes and Asparagus; and Bananas Foster.
Afterwards, according to Community Life Director Marguerite Hubbs, one resident told her, “I come every month, I wouldn’t miss it and I don’t know how they will top this one, but they always do. It was so good, I was tempted to lick the plate clean!”
The Fountains’ next ‘Enchanted Evening’ will take place May 16. Space is limited and reservations are required. Diners must be residents of The Fountains or guests of residents. For more information about The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay, visit www.watermarkcommunities.com or call 727-381-5411.
A flair for flame. Sous Chef Josh Marlowe (background) and Dining Room Manager John Hubbs (foreground) create magic with bananas, butter, brown sugar and rum, as Executive Chef Ricky Bacher looks on at last month’s Enchanted Evening at The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay. The culinary team’s performance received a chorus of “wows” and applause
The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay Welcomes ‘Home’ Watermark Retirement Communities
February 1, 2010, Alexandria, Va. – After a hiatus of nearly five years, Watermark Retirement Communities, Inc. today resumed management of The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay, 1255 Pasadena Avenue South, announced David N. Barnes, President/CEO of Watermark. It is among the first of 16 Fountains communities returning to Watermark’s fold.
As part of the transition, Barnes also announced that former Executive Director Allen Bingen will return to his previous post, joining Associate Director Suzanne Burtzlaff. Debra DeRolf, another returning associate, will serve as the region’s managing director.
“We are very excited about our renewed association with Watermark,” said Bingen. “Many Fountains associates, including yours truly, previously worked with the company that is now Watermark and bonds have remained very close,” he said, “so it will be a very natural and heartwarming transition for all of us.”
“It feels like we’re putting the band back together,” stated Barnes, who worked closely with The Fountains at Boca Ciega Bay when he was with Fountains Retirement Communities, Watermark’s predecessor. The property was sold in 2005 to industry giant Sunrise Senior Living, headquartered in McLean, Virginia.
After the 2005 sale to Sunrise, many Fountains associates stayed on at their respective communities while Barnes and partners rebranded as Watermark Retirement Communities, and started to rebuild. The company has fared well. When all 16 of the Fountains communities come back into the fold, Watermark will manage 27 communities plus three home health agencies in 16 states.
“We very much look forward to the coming weeks and months as we personally welcome back so many former residents and associates into the family of Watermark communities,” Barnes said.
Watermark Retirement Communities Reappointed as Manager for Fountains Portfolio
Watermark Retirement Communities, Inc., formerly Fountains Retirement Communities, has been reappointed as manager for 16 retirement communities previously managed by Sunrise Senior Living, announced David N. Barnes, President/CEO of Watermark Retirement Communities.
“Watermark was the obvious choice for managing the Fountains portfolio because we know the communities so well,” said Barnes.
After selling 18 properties within the Fountains brand to Sunrise in 2005, Fountains Retirement Communities was renamed Watermark Retirement Communities. Over the past four years, with his partner David Freshwater, former Fountains CEO, Barnes has grown Watermark’s management portfolio to 11 communities plus three home health agencies in six states. The addition of the Fountains portfolio brings Watermark’s total managed communities to 27 in 16 states.
“We very much look forward to the coming weeks and months as we personally welcome back so many former residents and associates into the family of Watermark communities. It feels like we’re putting the band back together,” stated Barnes.
Watermark Retirement Communities has owned and operated successful, innovative senior housing communities for more than 20 years. According to Barnes, Watermark is committed to creating extraordinary communities where people thrive and a culture where everyone is encouraged to express their creativity, passion and inner child – to express their true selves. As a result, Barnes says, Watermark communities are full of spirit, character, compassion and adventure.
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