Joyce and Chuck

Joyce and Chuck have shared a life for more than 50 years. They’ve heard each other's stories more than once, but even now, a little smile crosses their lips when the other tells a familiar tale. For five decades they enjoyed life in a rural community, just 10 minutes outside of Rochester, New York. “Life slowed down when we crossed the county line,” Chuck says fondly.

Chuck worked for Seneca Foods, and Joyce held many different roles during her career with the Department of Education. One of them was in PR. “The public relations for the school district was interesting because sometimes I had to work with people I didn't agree with, but I still had to work with them and be nice to them. And sometimes they weren't always nice, but I couldn't tell them that. And you just deal with it. You deal with it inside,“ she chuckles.

Now that they’ve moved into the community, Joyce says her perspective on people has shifted. “I like being with people. Being old, it's a different sort of thing. I've been surprised by a lot of people. I try not to form an opinion of them until I get to know them. And to my fault, sometimes I think I form an opinion too early, and then I change it. And usually, it's in a positive direction.”

The move was mainly practical — Chuck wasn’t able to drive anymore due to his eyesight, and Joyce was just plain tired of driving. The transition from a multigenerational town to a senior living community took some adjustment. “It’s a shift,” Chuck admits, “but our lives haven’t changed that much.”

One unexpected perk? Running into familiar faces. Turns out, their neighbor across the hall went to the same school as Chuck in eighth grade. Her father was even his history teacher. “There’s no escaping your past,” Joyce jokes.

Any reservations Joyce had about living in a community where everyone was the same age quickly faded. “I thought that would be hard to take, that everybody would be basically the same age, but I'm finding even with the same age there's a variety of opinions … and they all contribute in their way to making this a better place — I appreciate that.”

Another bonus? Their daughter’s family lives within walking distance, and their two youngest grandchildren love to visit. They’ll go swimming, play Ping-Pong, and even join a Watermark University class with them. In fact, during our interview, Joyce mentioned that her granddaughter was on her way over for supper because she’d rather hang out with them than go to her brother’s basketball practice.

Joyce has also embraced the community’s many learning opportunities, especially the resident-led classes. “There's many opportunities here to learn. And we go to a lot of the groups … where we can exchange and talk and learn from each other because there's a lot to be shared that's worth listening to and learning from the residents.”

When asked how resilience plays a role in their lives, Chuck doesn’t hesitate. “I grew up on a little dairy farm, and farms teach you to accept the way things are. You don't fight it, you accept it. … you just have to go on with it.”

Joyce shared that one of the practices she’s adopted more recently that helps her during hard times is writing. She said she’s always been creative, but writing wasn’t something she had done much of in the past. “I write silly poems. Sometimes I could be just sitting, waiting, and thinking about something, and I'll write a silly poem about it, or right now I'll write some political poems, and it kind of gets some steam off.”

This interview took place at the beginning of March. I’m based in Minnesota, which tends to have similar weather patterns as Upstate New York. Before we signed off, Chuck smiled and offered me this advice: “Remember one thing when you're thinking about the weather in Minnesota. It's March. You're going to have March weather, and March has some good days and some bad. Enjoy them.”

Listen to an excerpt from Joyce and Chuck's interview.

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